My Gypsy Vardo adventures in 32 square feet. A Spiritual Journey of learning God and meeting my Self around the corners of life.

A PASSIONATE JOURNEY INTO GOD

Traveling on the road easily forgotten and finding it is remembered, is the awareness of the journey back Into GOD.

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Gypsy Vardo Adventures on a Passionate Journey 

I have been traveling the Midwest and South East Coast for the last three years in my tiny self designed 4×8 Vardo on wheels.  Being a minimalist has a ton of advantages, the biggest is feeling FREE to be and go wherever I want without any bills to weigh me down physically, emotionally or Spiritually!  Therefore, I am learning about Life from a whole new perspective! I would like to share some of these adventures with you to encourage you and let you know this is possible even for a 69 year old female on her own!  

The first thing that was most necessary,  was to develope Fearless Faith and Trust in God….. Not a Religious experience but most certainly a vibrant personal Spiritual Relationship!   Experiencing God as LOVE on this very intimate level inside myself  was the key to Fearlessness.  (Fearlessness in my case doesn’t mean I’m never afraid but that I simply face fear with the knowing that nothing can harm the real me, my Spirit.). There simply is no fear in Love and no Love in fear!  I would like to encourage you all to test these theories about God that I have learned on my Solitary Journey for the past three years!    

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Vardo Adventures

Hi everyone so sorry it has been a long wait for a post!!! This year was a bit preoccupied with at home family matters which has delayed my solitary journey…… I plan on being back on road in September 2015 since that is my life!  I wintered in Florida and stayed on a lovely farm for six months and then took off in May 2015 for my beloved mountains in NC ….helped friends move and relocate to SC then continued to Michigan to visit son…then a family crises brought me back to Florida where I have been helping to support my daughter thru some life struggles…..so this year has so far been serving and helping however I could. The time now is at hand to recover and regroup my senses in cooling fresh mountain air once again to ground my Self in Reality once more…it is so very important that we live our lives in peace and harmony knowing,  really knowing and believing we are Never alone just ministering to different parts of ourSelves as ONE.  That is my lesson for the rest of my Life experience in Now…..more posts as Journey becomes more Real again to share my thoughts and adventures……till then happy caravanimg and Loving Life, S. Liesette

My 2014 Vardo Journey

Hello everybody!

I have put this Journey of Passion to the test and has it ever paid off! Everyday is a new surprise and everyday I have been satisfied with Joy!  I started this journey in the beginning of June when this beautiful piece of craftsmanship was completed by Andrew Bennett of Trekker Trailers.com  It was great watching it grow into my dream of living on the road on a 4×8 sheet of plywood with slight modification of sides to fit my measurements for sleeping and standing. The best parts are yet to come. I have met the most unusual and interesting people along the path from Mount Dora Florida to Jacksonville Florida to Weaverville North Carolina where I stopped to visit with my home friends from Florida Charles and JoAnna, who always add balance and charm to my life! Then on to Tennessee, Kentucky and finally arriving at my sons in Sylvania Ohio. That is where I had the wonderful opportunity to add all my “fancy” gingerbread and extra batten on the Vardo.  Friends of my son, Jeff and Michelle, now friends of mine as well, invited me to stay and park my Vardo  on their beautiful gentleman farm. Using Jeff’s band saw, table saw, drill press, sanders and mitre saw every day was such a treat!   Waking up to Large Mouth Bass and the biggest Blue Gills jumping in pond was a highlight hard to describe to a fly fisherman such as myself! I had a smile plastered on my face for two weeks  while working to my heart’s content in Jeff’s most generously equipped workshop!  Friendship and comrade were amply supplied IMG_3036 IMG_3200IMG_3059each day.  IMG_3197I thought what a great way to start my journey!  I was showing God a good time!! I then made plans for Bryson City NC in an attempt to rendezvous with my little friend from Florida to Christin my Vardo and do some camping near the Cherokee Indian Reservation area.  With promises and invitation of a Fall return to Ohio I was off to this next adventure.  Upon going through Tennessee and getting a bit sidetracked and distracted by the beautiful scenery I ended up on a very steep and curvy mountain climb and decent!  I found out later that I “Slew the Dragon” on ‘Tail of the Dragon’  with its 318 curves in 11 miles!!!   I had NO clue!!

IMG_3148It was a challenge I won’t forget!! While I was riding that Dragon lots of motorcyclist kept passing me giving me the thumbs up….I thought they liked my little Vardo lol.  Then a group of seven corvettes came by and cheered me!  I had no idea other than, gee Tennessee and North Carolina are sure my kind of friendly!!!  So my ‘tail’ continues to wind down the mountains to keep the adventures going. The rendezvous did not transpire but I Christined the little Vardo,  “Jazzmine Running Hoofs”.  Jazzmine because I like smooth Jazz and Running Hoofs because I can’t sit still while also being a Free Lance Dressage Riding Instructor (Equine).

Funny stories were spun from real life experiences in the campgrounds wherever I stayed. whenever I stopped for gas or eats, Jazzmine was surrounded by interested folks who loved my Vardo and were curious about my lifestyle.  I always try to encourage people to just do what you really want to do and DO IT without fear, for there is No LOVE in fear and No fear in LOVE!!!!  Some get it, some don’t,  but all enjoy the stories of why I am doing this.   I am momentarily resting on Mountain in Barnardsville NC with beautiful friends David and Kathy  ……..IAM……GOD IS THE LOVER IN YOUR SOUL!

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MINDFULNESS

IMG_1148      ‘The Awakeninag Art work by Tammy Michelle O’Neal

  MINDFULNESS

 2014 Has brought me to a realization that without MINDFULNESS IAM is forced to experience a void of AWARENESS and is laid to rest in the Spirit of the human experience that chooses to stay asleep.  Jesus taught MINDFULNESS as well as every PROPHET and TRUTH SEEKER since ‘time’ began.  My AWARENESS as a Spiritual Being, having this human experience, has drawn a few insights into my life over the past fourteen years, especially in this last year of 2013.  Having chosen a life of downsizing and filtering out the worldly dramas that seem to continuously rob me of Joy, Peace and Love has left a sweet-sorrow mark on my humanness.

 Sweet in that my Spirit has broadened and expanded in awareness of Who I am as The Great IAM looks through my face.  Growing in Spirit, as taught by The Holy Spirit (Holy in that it is Pure without ego…..THE IAM),  does involve sacrifice, but not the way we thought, because the old thinking, generated by ego  (fear, self centeredness, self-righteousness, false pride) has passed away at my awakening, though it is always a choice to stay awake!  I needed to be in my Right Mind in order to See and Hear and Believe in Who I am as IAM experiences IAM in flesh….Now becomes The Living Word expressed through me leaving behind all Gravity and Falling Into God! MINDFULNESS of this Truth then becomes my experience and then the battlefield of the Mind starts and I am responsible for my actions, words and deeds.   There is now no longer the excuse, “the devil made me do it!”  The only devil and evil there is, is what I create and that is called “Missing The Mark” or better known as sin in the religious realms. Now the sweetness becomes real in that I no longer am afraid of God but believe my Self to be clothed in my Right Mind and fully equipped to give God the experience of God’s Life here in God’s Created intent.  Herein lies the Power, Desire, Extravagance of Love clothed in Fearlessness.  Now I can Love others as My Self because I see God either shining wide awake through their human eyes or imprisoned by bars of Fear in the heaviness of ego’s insane Mind!

Sorrow in that here has been so very much teaching and preaching on Power, Extravagance, Magic Desires fulfilled by a mere wish  that it will make your head spin in frustration and sometimes resulting in loss of Faith.  Unless these teachings are directed from a Spiritual platform of Awakened Understanding with a Renewed Mind, they will result in anger, bitterness, cynicism and ultimately in unbelief!  Experiencing the non-congruence of this type of expression of ego in myself as well as in others necessitates Mindfulness all the more!  Herein lies ones personal Battlefield of the Mind!

MINDFULNESS Now becomes a necessity to The Spirit in the human being who is Awake and thinks out of the Right Mind (Sanity restored, born again, awakened or renewed).  I love the story, so full of the familiar symbolism that Jesus uses in all His teachings where He clothes (awakens) the insane man with His Right Mind and sends the insane mind (unregenerate, dark, sick, unremembered, totally asleep, unaware) into the pigs (the picture of ego centeredness thinking)…….bringing to mind another teaching of Jesus, the story about not throwing your pearls to swine,  (Truth wasted on ego centeredness) The Truth is the most powerful and extravagant commodity we have, do not waste it on ears that cannot hear or eyes that cannot see……the Truth can be found anywhere and in every teaching about Spirit and Life if we just look without Fear!!! “Be careful of the Bigots and the Accusers of the ‘Brethren’ (the awakened Ones who know we are all connected in ONE) for they “do not know what they do”! 

Noticing Truths everywhere and applying them to my life and experiencing them in their power and insightfulness should make for a more Peaceful approach and a greater Desire to Love as I Love My Self and see every ONE connected, struggling with the same human ego stuff that lies either awake or asleep in me…..always this is my choice, not something that comes from the outside of me as reactions to others or circumstances but from the center of my being as IAM looks out of my face in Love and understanding and compassion…….Keeping my eyes and heart wide open may make me vulnerable in flesh but never in Spirit! I love this quote fromC.S. LEWIS’s Awakened Mind “To Love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no One, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness….But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change, it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

BE MINDFUL of YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES and choose LOVE, TRUTH, PEACE and JOY and all things necessary for this Journey will be supplied by THE IAM Living inside of you as Holy, Pure and Perfect Love, this is abundance unimagined!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

ALL PHOTOGRAPHY ON THIS SITE IS THE WORK OF : Suzanne Liesette Jurgens unless otherwise credited

TIDES

The ebb and flow of ego’s tides, steeped heavily in illusions ‘time’  fearfully defending its shores….I wait…..

Footprints of Reality, embedded profoundly in our Sand, now two are steeped in illusions ‘time’…..I wait……

Ego fearfully defending its shores, awash in uncontrolled fantasy… there now appears no sign of Footprints in our Sand….I hover…..

Illusions crashing in magnificent display…the crucifixion NOW complete…..I wait…

Bearing deep marks of self-inflicted pain…..I hover…..I sigh…..I wait…..

Awake my Soul in Nakedness, for therein lies The Resurrection of Reality…..I hover….I wait….I ponder…..

Reality waits behind the Tomb….egos cowering in ebb of tides, exposed in NOW they cannot hide…..I Ponder!

The choice must be Reality!

The Tomb exposed, My Soul walks free….its Mark forever on your Shore..

Now nothing nor No-thing can it eradicate…..I hover….

Behold…Again I wait…

Will My Footprints remain embedded in your Soul…I Ponder….I Hover…..I Wait again….

Will the Waves of ‘time’ crash upon your Shore?  II am not alone: IAM ONE LOVE

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“WHEN LOVE LEA…

“WHEN LOVE LEAVES THE ROOM, FEAR IS CROWNED AND ONLY SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS REMAINS” s.liesette jurgens

MY PASSIONATE FALLING INTO GOD

I was not sure how to begin this blog as I am totally new to this experience.  Like all of us we need a platform to be heard.  Some speak with silence, some with pictures and music and then there are those of us who try to communicate with Words.  Words are a very difficult media as perception of them varies like the snow flakes in winter.  I believe it takes not only Courage to write one’s experiences but to go beyond the familiarity of verbal communication as we fly through various degrees in cyber space.   To defy religious gravity and venture into the reality of a Spiritual Connection from a realm within, which we were all born to experience, is the realization of Whose we are.

In pondering that idea, I have chosen to use experiences from all walks of my life.  Therefore, I begin by having my own personal conversations with God as I have been encouraged by the Voice within.  It took me years to figure out Who that Voice was and how to hear it without my ego getting in the way.  At first I experienced a lot of fear because of my past upbringing in the institutional church which preached mostly obedience or hell/ Love and fear!  I could not reconcile the God of Love with a demanding God of obedience like God was some kind of tyrant who thrived on control and worship?  Really?  Is God like puny man?  Does God need anything?  Does God feel good or better about God by the worship of His Creation?  Does God have an ego???? I think not!!  For we have humanized God to the very place of control that we have always sought to protect ourselves from someone outside of our control, thereby creating God in our image!!! Really??  My plea for Truth has always been, God is this You? Would the real Truth please stand up?

I am grateful for the thirst that my religious experience produced.  I needed a Real Life Personal Relating between God and me!  I desired a personal awareness of Who is “IAM THAT IAM”?   Of which I am A Piece of God, living in a human body, having my Spirit experience it-Self as a human being created by God for God-Self to experience God’s Self as LOVE.  I capitalize the S in Self to identify my Spiritual person and in lower case (no pun intended) as the ego (flesh) self.  These two “self’s” are always in conflict with one another for what I believe to be the egos ultimate desire for power and control.  Love can not be controlled nor possessed by anything other than its true nature which is LOVE!  Guess we thought we could improve on that as we exercised our nature of choice and free will thus creating our own version of  God as the created and not the Creator and the result is the screaming monster of ‘ego centeredness’ and all else must bow down to it!  Nope, I choose NOT to, though I fall in the hole many times, my desire is always to climb out!

                                                                                                                                                           EQUINE EQUINOX

Strength unbridled, the Horse appears….like the River Oak majestic in its strength now planted deeply near the shore, mirroring its stateliness…..

Roots, like hooves sunk deep into the bank, they hold majestic trunks, seasoned with the years by storms of time and floods of seasons,  reaching down deeper……

Hooves, now standing firm on this gnarled foundation reflecting mighty forces as the river washes over rooted hooves….

Torrents of rain swelling the banks to overflowing….Equine and Oak embedded on the bank…. Wind mercilessly whipping trunks in time pulling at them mercilessly …..

Hooves suddenly falter on the slippery roots… Current uprooting masses together…..

Horse swept into boiling whitewater….a mighty crashing thunderous sound….

Splintering wood heard above the roar…the mighty oak now too succumbs….

Both swallowed by the rush…

Horse emerging breathlessly alive….the mighty oak now surfacing alongside…though split in two…half rooted on the bank the other in the River of Life…..

Equine Equinox feigns to be complete as Horse regains its feet……

Yet upon the bank….revealed gnarled roots, now left half complete!

S.Liesette November 2013

MY POETRY

“The Love between Wisdom and Courage” 

Wisdom, is like a beautiful woman dressed in white eyelet cotton,

bare foot in the sand carrying her diamond slippers for the expected ball in the evening. 

Wisdom, when entering the conference room of ‘egos’, is best ‘suited’ in silence! 

Wisdom, upon entering the conference room of ‘humility’, is best worn in sandals! 

Wisdom keeps her precious pearls, and saves them for a barefoot woman, dressed in white eyelet cotton, or children with large questioning eyes. 

Wisdom knocks, only those who have ears to hear will take Her in!

Come, let us put on our cotton eyelet and sandals and talk to children with large questioning eyes.

“Courage”

Courage is falling into the unknown without knowing the outcome.

The child jumping into the promising arms of a ‘crippled’ Father: trusting in the Love that will catch her, knowing the outcome will be a two-sided effort. 

‘Will there be pain’ she asks?  No matter, the Father’s ability to Love is not crippled nor is the Father crippled, only His self-imposed will to allow her the freedom of the ‘choice’ is crippled! 

‘What will it be’ He asks?  No matter, My Grace is sufficient!  My Love is not crippled, nor My choice to Love, only your perception of Me will cause you to see Me crippled!

“Will you still jump?” He asks?  Wisdom is only crippled by the deception that you must produce Courage in your choices before jumping into Trust.

Put Trust in Me first and I will give you the Wisdom to make the right choices and the Courage to jump into My Arms…I will not let you fall!

GOD

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AWAKENING

AWAKENING (There is a Volcano inside)

When we are asleep spiritually it often takes something traumatic or earth shattering in our lives to search for something that we think is outside of us…….when we awaken we find everything we ever needed and looked for is right inside in the power and presence called The Indwelling Spirit of GOD as IAM. A Love so powerful and healing that awakens us to a dimension beyond anything we have ever experienced…………..and experiencing something makes it Real for me! God needs to experience Godness or IAMness since Spirit needs a vehicle to express and experience Its Self with……….enter the human experience to express the Divinity of God in us, through us and when we are awake we see and realize “as us”…….it took me a very long time to trust this idea but after asking GOD time and time again, GOD explained it in small tiny bits so as not to blow my brains out! LOVE never is forceful nor greedy nor unbecoming nor jealous nor controlling nor possessive nor abusive in any way…………LOVE is Kind, Gentle, Humble Strength, Powerfully Good, Peaceful, Joyful and full of Self Control………….GOD IS LOVE not GOD IS fear!!!  Image

MY CONVERSATION WITH GOD

ImageYou are alive God as I see You Breathe from The Mountain of Spices! You know nothing of mind games and deception yet You experience everything  in us as us? So I ask You God…. when my sorrows overwhelm me do You feel them as Your Own? “YES MY LOVE – I AM LOVE AND LOVE EXPERIENCES FEELINGS! I FEEL GRIEF, SORROW, UNREQUITED LOVE, UNFULFILLED DESIRES OF WHOLENESS AND ONENESS! I FEEL IT ALL!!! IAM IN YOU AS THAT PIECE OF ME THAT FEELS EVERYONE OF YOU AS ME!!” How then do You Comfort Yourself in me as me? “BY MY SPIRIT I HAVE COME AS COMFORTER THEREFORE YOU MUST  COME TO ME AND LET GO AND ALLOW ME TO FEEL LOVE IN YOU AS ME AGAIN!! LET GO OF ALL PRECONCEIVED IDEAS AND DREAMS OF WHOLENESS IN OTHERS! THEY TOO ARE EXPERIENCING THEIR WORLD OF CHOICES – DO NOT CONCERN YOUR ‘SELF’ IN THE MATTERS OF OTHERS! STOP BELIEVING IN THEM FOR YOU ARE NOT YET ABLE TO SEE CLEARLY UNTILL YOU ARE HEALED OF YOUR PAINS OF REJECTION!! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?” I do God help my unbelief? I have had this issue my whole life experience of believing others are potentially truthful and good. “ONLY GOD IS GOOD, RIGHT?” Yes God and that is Who I wish to believe in as I see You in others.  “BUT LOVE, YOU ARE NOT YET ABLE TO FIND ME IN OTHERS UNTIL YOU CAN TOTALLY FIND ME IN YOUR ‘SELF’!” I thought I did God?  “THINKING BY USING YOUR MIND AND WORDS AND REASONING ONLY DRIVES ME INTO DEEPER SECLUSION OF YOUR ‘SELF’! I NEED YOU TO CONCENTRATE ON YOUR EXPERIENCES OF ME AND THE FEELINGS THAT I PRODUCE THAT DEFY DESCRIPTION OR WORDS OF ANY KIND! REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAVE FELT IN LAYERS AND LAYERS UPON AWARENESS?” Yes God, those are unbelievably powerful and incredibly loving experiences!  “THAT IS MY SPIRIT RESONATING INTO THE REALITY OF WHO IAM!!!!” Is it possible to experience You in me that way all the time in every moment of my awareness? “YES!!!” How God, how? “COME AWAY WITH ME MY LOVE TO THE MOUNTAIN OF SPICES AND LEAVE BEHIND THE DENSITY OF YOUR EGO (FLESH) AND BE NURTURED AT MY BREASTS FOR THERE IS ONLY LOVE AND ECSTASY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LEFT ALL BEHIND TO FIND ME!!!” I need You, I need to feel You!! Send me Your messengers to minister to Your Spirit within me as my own.  “IAM, BE ALERT, MOVE FORWARD, DROP THE OLD RAGS AND MOVE INTO THE BEAUTY OF MY ROYAL ROBES THAT ARE NOT MADE FROM CARBON BUT SPIRIT…..FEEL ME HOVERING OVER YOUR LIPS SO SCULPTED FOR MY PLEASURE!”  Thank You God! Heal me NOW God and remove my thorns and dress my wounds so recently inflicted by the ego and foolish choices of my own making?

“IAM THAT IAM’………….DO YOU SEE IN THE SPIRIT CHILD?  I SEE YOU!! IAM RIGHT HERE! RIGHT ‘NOW’ IN THE ONENESS OF EACH OTHER THERE IS NO-THING ELSE! FEAR NOT BELOVED THERE IS NO GAP BETWEEN US!  THERE IS ONLY “ONE” ‘WAY’ NOT MANY, BUT THERE ARE MANY INTERPRETATIONS OF THE ‘ONE WAY’ AS ALL THE DIFFERENT CULTURAL EXPERIENCES AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCES HAVE BROUGHT ABOUT ALL THESE UNIQUE PERCEPTIONS OF ‘THE WAY’…. BUT REMEMBER MY BELOVED, IAM TRAVELING THEM ALL TO BRING THEM BACK INTO MY SOLITARY EXPERIENCE OF ‘ONE’. REMEMBER THERE IS NOTHING AND NO-THING OUTSIDE OF ME!! ONE IS ALL THERE IS!!! YOU ARE ALL RUNNING AROUND INSIDE OF MY THOUGHTS WHICH ALL BELONG TO ME!!! SO WHAT IS THERE TO FEAR?? YOU ARE ALL SAFE BECAUSE IAM ALL THERE IS AND THAT IS “LOVE” EXPERIENCED OR DENIED IN ENDLESS EXPRESSIONS OF EXPERIENCES AND PERCEPTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN CREATED BY YOU.  YET THE MYSTERY FOR YOU REMAINS IN SEPARATION MENTALITY SO I TOO COULD KNOW AND EXPERIENCE MY “SELF” AS MY CREATION IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE MY ETERNAL INFINITE “SELF” AS THE “LOVE IAM” DO YOU SEE?  DO YOU BELIEVE? DO YOU TRUST? IAM THAT IAM…DO YOU COMPREHEND THAT STATEMENT I MADE?”  Touch me in You in all these ways so I may know the FRIEND, LOVER MOTHER, FATHER of YOU!   “IAM SORTING YOU OUT MY BELOVED, SLOW DOWN, YOUR HUMANNESS IS TOO DENSE AND THE TOTAL TRANSPARENCY IS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS BUT SOON YOU WILL KNOW ALL OF ME~ ALL OF ME AS ALL OF ME IN YOU AS YOU! Oh God am I ready? “DO I HEAR A NOTE OF FEAR AND MISTRUST IN THAT?  BELOVED IAM AS ALWAYS READY IN YOU – IT IS ALL DEPENDENT ON HOW MUCH YOU TRUST ME!!! DO NOT BE CONCERNED I WILL DO THIS WORK IN YOU AND WHEN IAM FULLY EXPERIENCED AS YOU IN YOU – YOU WILL WAKE UP IN ME AS “ONE” INSTEAD OF ME IN YOU AS TWO!! NOW DIGEST THAT AND REST IN ME…………….”  Wow God that is some statement!THAT IT IS BELOVED AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE…………”

A Vision Quest: THE LABOR PAINS OF ONENESS

We go through layers upon layers of awakening as we step out of the incredible nightmares we have dreamt and into the LIGHT of AWARENESS as it becomes brighter and brighter at the end of the Tunnel…..2013 is OUR year to wake up! Wake up to Who You are, experience the ONENESS in the collective whole and take another look at CREATION and find You are a Magnificent Piece of GOD having a human experience as GOD IN YOU!  This is my understanding of Being Born Again…..Image

TIME TO AWAKEN

It is time to awaken to the real Truth of Who you are.  Are you brave enough? Do you care enough? Are you willing enough? ARE YOU SERIOUS? These are questions that an older generation may hear but it is for everyone no matter how old you are………………….Well?

OBSERVATIONS

 

MY QUEST FOR ONENESS

To MY DEARLY BELOVED OF ANCIENT REMEMBERING Image

How do I bring my soul to my kind, if my kind does not receive me? I have puzzled and searched around me for those who might be awake to hear the Universal call of Oneness in SPIRIT and in TRUTH – the great and final plea of Jesus in “Now” so aware!  Will there just be “words” of seduction and alluring? The ‘WORD’ comes alive in this my remembering of Who IAM here in this flesh of human experience as a piece of the “Whole” – yet my desire to be understood is a need that drives my belief in all the knowledge I have gathered to realize my ‘Self’ in Awareness.  It lies so heavy in my experience of alone-ness, and yes, there is alone-ness experienced when IAM is isolated from the expressions and the feelings that accompany connection!  When words come to me without substantiation they are like brass, noisy, painful, grievous and empty!

“Hell is the place where nothing connects.” T.S, Elliot

Love Speaks Its Own Identity   I Corinthians 13: The Bible

The acts of Love are so much more then the sexual gratifications of the body!  I observe that the acts of sex have been so abused and misunderstood and therefore have become what I call EMPTY sex (Sex without GOD )a poor replacement for LOVE, thus putting the cart before the horse. It’s all backwards!  What is called right is wrong and what is called wrong is right!! ”Oneness” is so very much deeper, so incredibly more powerful and life transforming than any other human experience in this physical realm…..but it does use that physical realm for expression – touch, sound, smell, vision etc.  Without the physical realm I could not manifest my Spiritual Self!

I yearn for that spiritual depth in you!  Doesn’t Spiritual Awareness need a platform of expression?  Is that not why we long to be Loved experientially?  Why else would God Create God ‘Again’….and ‘Again’….? Why would God’s Spirit ‘hover’ over the ‘lips’, the birthplace of ‘words’  formed into the Universe? The place of expressing One-Self in intimacy without ‘words’ are The Holy Kisses…….. Lips that are ‘sculpted’ for Gods intent to draw one another into that intimacy of knowing.  Why even look for the ‘path’ that leads to the expressions of Gods ‘Cave of Treasures’ if it is not well prepared and adorned with receptivity? Would you keep your ‘lips’ shut and rob the ‘Cave of Treasures’?  Would that not be Spiritual rape? Would I steal and rob from You, My Beloved? Not unless I am sound asleep in the ego, dreaming my adulteress dreams on dirty sheets, in beds of fear!  How quick are we to dismiss the rightful place of our Beloved by our insistence on separation?

The ego, so heavily fueled by fear, is bent on making one person feel more “special” than another, thus effectively excluding any attempt at Oneness, resulting in emotional and Spiritual suicide!  The Truth remains, that,  “Love is NOT a respecter of persons, color, gender, age, culture, wealth or poverty!!”  The ego’s answer deceptively reciting, “Love is a respecter of persons!” Is this not choosing once again from the platform of ego? Our Knowledge alone will not suffice nor become our Reality!  We must act on our ‘words’ in order to substantiate them…….Jesus  and the Masters all agree that the word is empty without action and action without words can act deceitful……therefore, we again stand at the precipice…..do we JUMP?  Are we ‘Fearless’?  Do we drop the ‘Veil’ and ‘mirror’ back the ‘little self’, so steeped in ego’s defense we  or do we plunder the hearts of others and our own?  Do we comfort our little “self’’ with words of priority and ‘vows’ of emotional celibacy?  Do we shut our “Spirit Self” away when it is not convenient? Are you embarrassed of my nakedness? Is there still no room in the  Inn of ‘Oneness Awareness’?  Is it all an ego trip steeped in illusions of conquering the competition?  I ask my “Self” these things, for I too become the victim of little ‘self’ in the creating of my human experience.  I too can be a digger of righteousness and defensiveness when ego is threatened to death with the experience of the ‘True Self’!  So, Who will save me from this fearful fantasy?  Who has the ‘key’ that unlocks MY True Self in Reality?  Who turns to fantasy, unless he despairs of finding satisfaction in Reality?  Only the sleepers! We will never find satisfaction in fantasy, nor Reality in fantasy! (The symbols of fantasy, and there are many,  are of the ego, but do not look for meaning in them!) Yet, when you shine your ‘light’ and lift ‘the veil’, exposing my darkness……Reality dawns for me and you, and the fantasies on the horizons of our ‘fearful dreams’ are gone!  We are the members of One Body and if any member suffers the Whole body suffers!  Would you, My Ancient Beloved, rob me of Your Oneness in understanding my Soul? Or keep me suffering by denying me your Visions composed in ‘The Ancient of Days’? Or keep me guessing by denying me Your Wisdom and  Light? You have the power that shines into my darkness to reveal that IAM is not alone or seperate!  This takes more than spoken words rushed in passing!  Every word must be validated by fearless actions.  Therefore, we must be careful what we say and  not use The Word, which is “LOVE,”  in vain.  Could I really choose on whom I shine if I declare IAM Real?  Could you really believe ‘fearlessly’ in Oneness in the Whole?  Could we really Love more than just the “special” ones elected by our ego to keep us truly separated?  Is not all this the knowledge of our Seeking Truth?  Are we ready, as the True Lovers that we are, to make our words Reality in relationship with every ONE as part of the Whole?  Or will we remain in religious acts of fear, self-righteousness and self-centeredness steeped in separation mentality of the ego?

Again……….I wait……….I hover………I beckon……I reason……I yearn……….I long……I desire……

IAM suffering in this my human experience of unsubstantiated words that pierce my hands and feet and nail me to the cross of your fears, as your fears of the ego’s hammer wielding its weight from the ‘special’ ones, nailing you to the cross beside mine, melting down your crown with guilt,  threats of ego words steeped in fantasies NOT your own……….. Therefore, IAM reaching out to You to heal and bandage the wounds in this MY BODY,  that You, My Ancient Beloved, may not suffer! Call on the host of Angles and they will take You off that cross and minister to you so you are FREE to take Me off Mine!

……………….Selah……………….(Pause and think of that)…………

 

ONE

LOVE

ONE

TRUTH

IN

NOW

 

MY PASSIONATE FALLING INTO GOD

I was not sure how to begin this blog as I am totally new to this experience.  Like all of us we need a platform to be heard.  Some speak with silence, some with pictures and music and then there are those of us who try to communicate with Words.  Words are a very difficult media as perception of them varies like the snow flakes in winter.  I believe it takes not only Courage to write one’s experiences but to go beyond the familiarity of verbal communication as we fly through various degrees in cyber space.   To defy religious gravity and venture into the reality of a Spiritual Connection from a realm within, which we were all born to experience, is the realization of Whose we are.

In pondering that idea, I have chosen to use experiences from all walks of my life.  Therefore, I begin by having my own personal conversations with God as I have been encouraged by the Voice within.  It took me years to figure out Who that Voice was and how to hear it without my ego getting in the way.  At first I experienced a lot of fear because of my past upbringing in the institutional church which preached mostly obedience or hell/ Love and fear!  I could not reconcile the God of Love with a demanding God of obedience like God was some kind of tyrant who thrived on control and worship?  Really?  Is God like puny man?  Does God need anything?  Does God feel good or better about God by the worship of His Creation?  Does God have an ego???? I think not!!  For we have humanized God to the very place of control that we have always sought to protect ourselves from someone outside of our control, thereby creating God in our image!!! Really??  My plea for Truth has always been, God is this You? Would the real Truth please stand up?

I am grateful for the thirst that my religious experience produced.  I needed a Real Life Personal Relating between God and me!  I desired a personal awareness of Who is “IAM THAT IAM”?   Of which I am A Piece of God, living in a human body, having my Spirit experience it-Self as a human being created by God for God-Self to experience God’s Self as LOVE.  I capitalize the S in Self to identify my Spiritual person and in lower case (no pun intended) as the ego (flesh) self.  These two “self’s” are always in conflict with one another for what I believe to be the egos ultimate desire for power and control.  Love can not be controlled nor possessed by anything other than its true nature which is LOVE!  Guess we thought we could improve on that as we exercised our nature of choice and free will thus creating our own version of  God as the created and not the Creator and the result is the screaming monster of ‘ego centeredness’ and all else must bow down to it!  Nope, I choose NOT to, though I fall in the hole many times, my desire is always to climb out!

Louellie's Blog

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Source of Inspiration

All is One, co-creating with the Creator

Being trained up in the derek I should go

Seeking life wherever it is expressed.

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